Board Thread:Sly Raccoon discussion/@comment-27033632-20151013154711/@comment-24137779-20151022222704

Ung this topic is giving me a headache. If you'd like to know this history of sly cooper, watch the game theorists "a brief history of sly cooper" or don't... Cause I'm going to explain it now. Clockwerk for whatever reason wants to prove that he is superior then the coopers and hates them with a burning passion rivaled only by the uselessness of Krillin and Yamcha, it is because of this hatred that he replaces his mortal body with "soulless machinery" and somehow got a high tech microchip to make him immortal (nobody knows how) .so it is assumed he waits for the cooper to have a child and then murders them. Enter Sly's father (commonly referred to as Connor Cooper, cause alliteration) and Sly's mother. Clockwerk bands together a "crack" team and raids the Cooper home. Killing Sly's parents and taking the theiveus raccoons (AKA the thingus racamagoongus) tears it into five pieces (nobody knows why clockwerk did this nor why he needed their help to begin with.... Although come to think of it.... Clockwerk has no hands..... Sooooo) Sly is dumped at an orphanage (by who might I ask?) and there he meets his best friends Murray ( the do-re) and Bentley the thinker ( I swear to God in the cutscene of the first game they do not change Bentley at all they just make him freaking bigger) fast forward about 17 years or so sly steals a file from Interpol and goes off on a revenge spree and takes to book pages back (who the crap puts pieces of paper in a bank vault in the middle of freaking nowhere with clue bottles everywhere??? What's even in those bottles anyway???) there you have it. The first game in a (sardonic) nutshell. If you want the unedited version (I took out a bunch of dumb jokes) let me know. Otherwise there you go. ENJOY